RESOLVING CONFLICT BY TURNING NEGATIVES INTO POSITIVES

Take the typical reaction when somebody does you wrong. The tendency is to "write them off" and have as little as possible to do with that person in the future. When you think negatively about others it can actually destroy them. That is another article altogether.

Instead of dealing with the issue head-on, you might tell others about how this person is "low down and dirty" advising them not to have anything to do with that person. That kind of negative attitude only adds fuel to the fire, creating dysfunction and hindering growth in individuals, families, businesses and even whole communities. The grumbling and complaining never helps anything.

In all reality, most "wrongs" committed against us are probably just some simple communications breakdown, a misunderstanding, a jumping to conclusions, or an unfair judgment-something so slight and quite easy to remedy.

There is a better way to deal with such negative situations. Whenever someone has offended me, I go directly to that person and start asking questions (not in an accusing way, but very respectfully.) I am trying to understand where the other person is coming from, hoping to find a way to turn this situation around for the positive. Chances are that they didn't even realize they had hurt or offended me, so by being honest with them about my feelings, what could have become a very large negative situation affecting lots of other people, is now turned into a positive, good relationship.

Today, I have many friendships that have blossomed as a result of responding to others in this way. Taking the high road–and even eating some crow if I must–to rebuild the relationship.

Ask yourself if there is someone you need to confront so you can turn that negative situation into a positive one. Then go do it! This requires courage. I know that if I can do it, I know you can too.